Pillow of Faith
Fear can keep you up all night long, but faith makes one fine pillow
This quote reminds me so much of my first book ‘Will You Dance?’ It is the story of 6 hooded figures that arrive to our door- and the gifts that they bring. The figures are Hope, Faith, Joy, Change, Loss, and Fear.That book was never fiction for me, and I really do see these 6 beings as continual messengers that visit us and push us to transform. I am really good with five of the six – it is only Fear that still makes me stop in my tracks.All the other emotions that life brings my way, whether positive or negative, I can use for fuel. I can dance with Joy and I can dig deep with Sorrow, but Fear- I have not yet mastered. When Fear shows up at the door, it still makes my mouth dry and my appetite leave. It takes sleep away, and makes my heart race.With any other emotion, I can use the medicine of words to write my way out - but in my world, Fear is a bully. It takes my pencil from my hand, breaks it into little pieces, and drops it at my feet. When I am unable to write- this is when I know Fear has me in its grip.The only remedy for Fear, that I have found so far, is to sit very still and just look it in the eye. It is only Fear after all- and it has no objective power on its own- only the power I allow it. If I stare it down, it stays in one place- and slowly I begin to feel solid in my stance.So, even though Fear can still succeed in making me come to a complete stop in my life- the stops have gotten much much shorter- and I have learned that the stare down works- especially when I can hear Faith’s footsteps approaching from some far off hallway in my mind- traveling toward me and holding a light, that once it reaches me, will send Fear scampering away like a cockroach heading for the baseboards. I have learned that Fear’s gift is exactly this- it harkens Faith forward when I have unknowingly left it behind in my life.